No, George, we aren't!
Neither are we 'shoulder to shoulder or 'transparent and accountable' or any of the other tired and overused phrases so beloved of politicians. While you and your banking buddies are stashing cash away in Belize and various other tax havens, pensioners and the poor and disabled are struggling to make ends meet. How you sleep at night is the main question of the week.
Friday, 22 October 2010
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Do They Have An ad In The Yellow Pages
Anyone else out there wondering how journalists not only seem to be able to book appointments with the taliban, but can just drive right in and interview them!
They have even managed to film them planting roadside explosive devices (Sky News today) - a little odd given that the combined might of the allied forces seem to have trouble locating and shooting them?
They have even managed to film them planting roadside explosive devices (Sky News today) - a little odd given that the combined might of the allied forces seem to have trouble locating and shooting them?
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
What if?
You are an alien visitor to earth. Or maybe just a teenage boy wanting to broaden his horizons.
You want to learn more about the mystery of women.
An obvious way to do this might be to watch some t.v.
You quickly become aware that these creatures seem to spend vast amounts of time in supermarkets staring at the ingredients labels on food packaging, shopping, dieting and worrying not only about their appearance,and how they smell but about all things related to their nether regions.
You boggle at the adverts for something called 'stool softeners,' and wonder why women would need these on a regular basis. On the other hand they also seem to wrestle with being both constantly constipated and 'fluid' - maybe even at the same time.
Then, just as you thought it couldnt get any worse, you are introduced to the concept that most women seem to have problems with bladder control, and buy nappy liners so that they can fall about laughing without worrying about the accident they are about to have.
You are baffled by the adverts for cosmetics containing ingredients no one has ever heard of (hydraproxilane - retinol A - pentapeptides) and you presume that women are either supposed to be (a) so intelligent as to know immediately what these things are, or (b) so thick they wont ask!
Either way, you quickly get the impression that buying tubs of cosmetic polyfiller and painting masks of thin plasticised gel on their faces - supposedly to get rid of the effects of ageing - is an everyday part of the beauty routine of girls who only look about fourteen in the commercials.
You then perhaps, could be forgiven for giving women a wide berth until you are old and senile and incontinent enough to need all the products that they do!
You want to learn more about the mystery of women.
An obvious way to do this might be to watch some t.v.
You quickly become aware that these creatures seem to spend vast amounts of time in supermarkets staring at the ingredients labels on food packaging, shopping, dieting and worrying not only about their appearance,and how they smell but about all things related to their nether regions.
You boggle at the adverts for something called 'stool softeners,' and wonder why women would need these on a regular basis. On the other hand they also seem to wrestle with being both constantly constipated and 'fluid' - maybe even at the same time.
Then, just as you thought it couldnt get any worse, you are introduced to the concept that most women seem to have problems with bladder control, and buy nappy liners so that they can fall about laughing without worrying about the accident they are about to have.
You are baffled by the adverts for cosmetics containing ingredients no one has ever heard of (hydraproxilane - retinol A - pentapeptides) and you presume that women are either supposed to be (a) so intelligent as to know immediately what these things are, or (b) so thick they wont ask!
Either way, you quickly get the impression that buying tubs of cosmetic polyfiller and painting masks of thin plasticised gel on their faces - supposedly to get rid of the effects of ageing - is an everyday part of the beauty routine of girls who only look about fourteen in the commercials.
You then perhaps, could be forgiven for giving women a wide berth until you are old and senile and incontinent enough to need all the products that they do!
www.thinkbuddha.org
Great idea for an answer to the religious advertising placards being pasted onto various buses around the country.
The Madhyamaka bus would have the following on it:
'Neither an entity nor a nonentity moves in any of the three ways. So motion, bus and route are nonexistent'.
Something to ponder on!
The Madhyamaka bus would have the following on it:
'Neither an entity nor a nonentity moves in any of the three ways. So motion, bus and route are nonexistent'.
Something to ponder on!
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines
A results of a recent survey among the population of the UK has given a boost to the B.A.R party.
BAR, (Ban All Religions) which used to be considered very much a minority movement has gained considerable ground in recent years - sufficient to give serious concern to religious groups around the world who have widely condemned it.
The Republican party in America, along with other right wing groups, the NRA , Oil companies and arms dealers across the globe are calling for laws making it illegal to belong to BAR.
The Vatican has been particularly vocal.
In response to a vitriolic attack from the Pope himself, the leader of BAR is quoted as saying: ‘ The catholic church, along with most other religions have historically, got more than their fair share of blood on their hands, and I for one will not take life lessons from a rich bloke in a frock who used to belong to the Nazi party’!
The poll's results also show that while religious leaders are united, for once, in a common hatred of BAR, peace groups, scientists and environmentalists are unanimous in their support of it.
George Bush recently said in an interview, that 'BAR are the biggest threat to life as we know it on this planet’ and is even reported to be lobbying Muslim countries for discussions on how to 'thwart this evil threat'.
American Evangelists along with some Welsh people, have retreated to a secret location to await armageddon which they proclaim, will be on the day, soon in their opinion, that BAR's leaders are elected to positions of power.
Meanwhile, Christian groups in the Uk have called for sanctions to any south american country where the name 'Jesus' is being used not only for children, but dogs and toys.
BAR, (Ban All Religions) which used to be considered very much a minority movement has gained considerable ground in recent years - sufficient to give serious concern to religious groups around the world who have widely condemned it.
The Republican party in America, along with other right wing groups, the NRA , Oil companies and arms dealers across the globe are calling for laws making it illegal to belong to BAR.
The Vatican has been particularly vocal.
In response to a vitriolic attack from the Pope himself, the leader of BAR is quoted as saying: ‘ The catholic church, along with most other religions have historically, got more than their fair share of blood on their hands, and I for one will not take life lessons from a rich bloke in a frock who used to belong to the Nazi party’!
The poll's results also show that while religious leaders are united, for once, in a common hatred of BAR, peace groups, scientists and environmentalists are unanimous in their support of it.
George Bush recently said in an interview, that 'BAR are the biggest threat to life as we know it on this planet’ and is even reported to be lobbying Muslim countries for discussions on how to 'thwart this evil threat'.
American Evangelists along with some Welsh people, have retreated to a secret location to await armageddon which they proclaim, will be on the day, soon in their opinion, that BAR's leaders are elected to positions of power.
Meanwhile, Christian groups in the Uk have called for sanctions to any south american country where the name 'Jesus' is being used not only for children, but dogs and toys.
Business As Usual
The recent discovery of alien life on Mithra 11 in the Calian galaxy has brought with it new dilemmas .
You will remember that these gentle peace loving aliens made themselves known to us when they formally requested an agreement to use earths ‘air space’ whilst travelling to other planets. This has sparked heated debate amongst the worlds dominant governments.
America is refusing to take part in any forum to discuss ownership. As the ‘leader of the free world’ they feel that ownership is a foregone conclusion and have automatically refused any permissions for the use of the space. One of George Bush's last acts as President is rumoured to have been the dispatch of star wars technology to the space station, while at the same time, putting into place the threat that any country trying to hold separate negotiations will have heavy sanctions imposed upon them. There are rumours of the C.I.A. wanting to replace the Mithran leader with the director of NASA. This in turn has sparked a furious row between the Democrat and Republican parties
France and Germany are demanding a UN forum to decide ownership - they both want to make their own claims heard. They are holding separate talks with the Mithrans.
Switzerland is remaining neutral but has offered ‘off world’ banking facilities to the inhabitants of Mithra.
Russia, also already in talks with the aliens, has offered unlimited use of the space in return for technology and Putin has sent pin-up's of himself flyfishing with no clothes on to the Mithran ambassador.
The Italian government has decided to wait until the outcome of all arguments before it makes a decision.
Iran has approached the Mithrans with a request for advanced technology for their 'power station' programme.
Britain is standing shoulder to shoulder with the Americans and Bill Clinton has nominated that Tony Blair should be elected as the first inter-galactic emissary to negotiate for peace with all other planets. Certain Tabloids though, are claiming that Gordon Brown is already doing some negotiating of his own with the Mithran tourist board for holiday accomodation for next Summer's family break.
Israel have commissioned their scientists to work on a 'space barrier' to be erected in the airspace above the Israel/Palestine border and are training a new breed of astronauts who will man it.
Spain was in the middle of a fiesta when the Mithrans first contacted earth 6 months ago and so far seems oblivious to the arguments that are raging worldwide.
You will remember that these gentle peace loving aliens made themselves known to us when they formally requested an agreement to use earths ‘air space’ whilst travelling to other planets. This has sparked heated debate amongst the worlds dominant governments.
America is refusing to take part in any forum to discuss ownership. As the ‘leader of the free world’ they feel that ownership is a foregone conclusion and have automatically refused any permissions for the use of the space. One of George Bush's last acts as President is rumoured to have been the dispatch of star wars technology to the space station, while at the same time, putting into place the threat that any country trying to hold separate negotiations will have heavy sanctions imposed upon them. There are rumours of the C.I.A. wanting to replace the Mithran leader with the director of NASA. This in turn has sparked a furious row between the Democrat and Republican parties
France and Germany are demanding a UN forum to decide ownership - they both want to make their own claims heard. They are holding separate talks with the Mithrans.
Switzerland is remaining neutral but has offered ‘off world’ banking facilities to the inhabitants of Mithra.
Russia, also already in talks with the aliens, has offered unlimited use of the space in return for technology and Putin has sent pin-up's of himself flyfishing with no clothes on to the Mithran ambassador.
The Italian government has decided to wait until the outcome of all arguments before it makes a decision.
Iran has approached the Mithrans with a request for advanced technology for their 'power station' programme.
Britain is standing shoulder to shoulder with the Americans and Bill Clinton has nominated that Tony Blair should be elected as the first inter-galactic emissary to negotiate for peace with all other planets. Certain Tabloids though, are claiming that Gordon Brown is already doing some negotiating of his own with the Mithran tourist board for holiday accomodation for next Summer's family break.
Israel have commissioned their scientists to work on a 'space barrier' to be erected in the airspace above the Israel/Palestine border and are training a new breed of astronauts who will man it.
Spain was in the middle of a fiesta when the Mithrans first contacted earth 6 months ago and so far seems oblivious to the arguments that are raging worldwide.
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Apathy Rules
More than three days of snow, and the whole infrastructure of the UK has ceased to function properly. Councils are running out of salt and grit for the roads, and the only 'ploughing' going on is that of public money into foreign bank accounts - a nice little earner.
Despite having been bailed out to the tune of billions of pounds, the banks continue to pay big bonuses to people who quite clearly are pretty crap at the job, whilst at the same time calling in overdrafts and loans. As a result of which, unemployment is on target to reach record levels - maybe even higher than when the Conservatives were last in.
Meanwhile war and famine rage across the globe, and the most important item on BBC news this week has been whether a 'D' list celebrity will apologise to the Prime Minister for speaking the truth (he does indeed have one eye, he is indeed Scottish, and he is indeed in some people's opinion an idiot). Jeremy Clarkson should have had the courage of his convictions and refused a retraction - whatever happened to freedom of speech?
So............All of this, and any other self respecting country would have taken to the streets armed with very big sticks, and ready to fight with riot police - the most we Brits seem to manage is really working ourselves up into a right state and ending up just more than a little bit grumpy!
Despite having been bailed out to the tune of billions of pounds, the banks continue to pay big bonuses to people who quite clearly are pretty crap at the job, whilst at the same time calling in overdrafts and loans. As a result of which, unemployment is on target to reach record levels - maybe even higher than when the Conservatives were last in.
Meanwhile war and famine rage across the globe, and the most important item on BBC news this week has been whether a 'D' list celebrity will apologise to the Prime Minister for speaking the truth (he does indeed have one eye, he is indeed Scottish, and he is indeed in some people's opinion an idiot). Jeremy Clarkson should have had the courage of his convictions and refused a retraction - whatever happened to freedom of speech?
So............All of this, and any other self respecting country would have taken to the streets armed with very big sticks, and ready to fight with riot police - the most we Brits seem to manage is really working ourselves up into a right state and ending up just more than a little bit grumpy!
Thursday, 23 October 2008
All Aboard The Bus
The UK's first atheist advertising campaign is underway. Partly sponsored by the Master of Delusion Richard Dawking, the slogan reads 'Theres probably no god, now stop worrying and enjoy your life'.
Surely, given that its written by an atheist, the word 'probably' should be taken out and replaced with 'definitely' - or are they just hedging their bets??
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/oct/21/religion-advertising>
Surely, given that its written by an atheist, the word 'probably' should be taken out and replaced with 'definitely' - or are they just hedging their bets??
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/oct/21/religion-advertising>
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Its not 'What You Say'............
Peter Mandelson is going to be standing 'side by side' with the Prime Minister. Not before time the overused phrase 'shoulder to shoulder', so popular of post 9/11 politicians has been ousted.
For the Master of the Dark Arts though, this new way of standing will afford him a better view of the shoulder blades and rather cleverly, gives him a choice of hands with which to swing the knife.
For the Master of the Dark Arts though, this new way of standing will afford him a better view of the shoulder blades and rather cleverly, gives him a choice of hands with which to swing the knife.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Women Beware - Only In America
Of all the women in the US, couldnt it have been possible to find someone who is not an anti abortionist,a creationalist and maybe one who is'nt in denial as far as man made climate change is concerned, as a possible candidate for the vice presidency. The big oil companies must be very pleased though. Oh, and doesnt she come from Alaska? And isnt that where there is quite a bit of drilling going on?
Sunday, 17 August 2008
When Did Human Rights Records Begin?
Who keeps the records? Are they logging absolutely everything? And, whose got the best record and who has the worst? And why does American and the UK automatically think that they have such a great record that they can criticise others for theirs.
George Bush, not known for his understanding of the meaning of the word 'irony', obviously thinks that records began quite recently, thereby avoiding all mention of Hiroshima, Iraq, the funding of Osama Bin Laden by the C.I.A., and Guantanamo - to name a few - and since the 'War on Terror' it would appear that records arent being kept at all.
For Britain, records start somewhere in the eighties, after Mrs Thatcher started to go completely loopy and have tea parties with Pinochet & pull in favours from friends to get her son jobs with various arms companies. And of course, after she started shipping suspicious looking pipes to Iraq.
For the whole of the European Union,there is a clean slate from the introduction of the euro.
For anyone not in the Union, an on-going record is being kept to be used against whichever country wants to join next as a reason for not allowing them to do so.
Russia, a bit like America tends not to bother keeping a record, mainly because they dont see the need.
You have to hand it to the main players on the world's political stage, they have the shortest memories of any humans on the planet.
George Bush, not known for his understanding of the meaning of the word 'irony', obviously thinks that records began quite recently, thereby avoiding all mention of Hiroshima, Iraq, the funding of Osama Bin Laden by the C.I.A., and Guantanamo - to name a few - and since the 'War on Terror' it would appear that records arent being kept at all.
For Britain, records start somewhere in the eighties, after Mrs Thatcher started to go completely loopy and have tea parties with Pinochet & pull in favours from friends to get her son jobs with various arms companies. And of course, after she started shipping suspicious looking pipes to Iraq.
For the whole of the European Union,there is a clean slate from the introduction of the euro.
For anyone not in the Union, an on-going record is being kept to be used against whichever country wants to join next as a reason for not allowing them to do so.
Russia, a bit like America tends not to bother keeping a record, mainly because they dont see the need.
You have to hand it to the main players on the world's political stage, they have the shortest memories of any humans on the planet.
Saturday, 26 July 2008
New Conspiracy Theories For A New Age
Lets face it - Phil the Greek is never going to admit to organising the hit on Diana - the CIA arent going to admit to rubbing out JFK, and there is about as much chance of George Bush admitting the moon landings were faked, as Posh Spice promoting healthy eating, so…………lets have some new subjects to get the theorists salivating.
ROYAL LOVE CHILD:
Look no further than photographs of Paul Burrell and Prince Harry side by side to see the resemblance and the reason for Mr Burells quick flight to America. He has cleverly managed to appease 'The Firm' by halting further revelations, avoided
committing perjury and at the same time stayed loyal to Di.
UK FLOODING:
Given that many of the areas under water have only experienced this sort of devastation since the creation of the private water companies, it would seem to be a fair assumption that there is a connection between privatisation and flooding.
It was no secret in the mid nineties, that Thames Water was pumping millions of gallons of water out of the Thames, and selling it to other areas.
This particular conspiracy theory is based on the assumption that in doing this, the water tables must be suffering some sort of altering effect.
OIL:
The oil has definitely almost run out and will cease to exist very soon - Texas oil companies are standing by with a previously withheld new fuel for engines. Why else would America finally be starting to concede that global warming is indeed a threat.
WATCHERS:
The possibility of the existence of a resistance movement, set up to tackle the ever increasing threat to our freedom of speech by establishing counter listening posts to monitor secret government activity - after all, why should ‘they’ be the only ones snooping on the activities of private citizens? - maybe its about time someone struck back by listening to the listeners.
FOREVER YOUNG:
The answer to eternal youth has been discovered already and is already being used by members of an elite secret society hell bent on first, world chaos, but with the ultimate goal of taking over key positions of power in various governments and then, YES, world domination!
Its is believed that prominent Catholics, members of parliament, heads of organisations such as the police and judiciary, and global company directors are among the members.
COLD CURE:
A cure for the common cold was invented decades ago, but the pharmaceutical industry cant afford the losses if it was ever allowed to go on sale. Billions of dollars world-wide is spent each year on basic remedies such as Asprin, Paracetamol, and decongestant powders.
MYRA HINDLEY:
It did seem a tad coincidental that she should manage to expire just as a major row about her possible release had broken out.
It is believed that although she had served her sentence, it would have been political suicide for any Home Secretary to free her.
The theory is that she is living out her days somewhere sunny under an assumed name.
SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHS:
Has anyone out there ever had personal dealings with any of the companies that actually take the photos?
Each year, every child in the country is photographed and the negatives are never released. There then comes the best of all scams - the sale back to the parents of the prints. Thousands of gullible parents are paying for the surveillance of their own offspring. Ingenious!!
ROYAL LOVE CHILD:
Look no further than photographs of Paul Burrell and Prince Harry side by side to see the resemblance and the reason for Mr Burells quick flight to America. He has cleverly managed to appease 'The Firm' by halting further revelations, avoided
committing perjury and at the same time stayed loyal to Di.
UK FLOODING:
Given that many of the areas under water have only experienced this sort of devastation since the creation of the private water companies, it would seem to be a fair assumption that there is a connection between privatisation and flooding.
It was no secret in the mid nineties, that Thames Water was pumping millions of gallons of water out of the Thames, and selling it to other areas.
This particular conspiracy theory is based on the assumption that in doing this, the water tables must be suffering some sort of altering effect.
OIL:
The oil has definitely almost run out and will cease to exist very soon - Texas oil companies are standing by with a previously withheld new fuel for engines. Why else would America finally be starting to concede that global warming is indeed a threat.
WATCHERS:
The possibility of the existence of a resistance movement, set up to tackle the ever increasing threat to our freedom of speech by establishing counter listening posts to monitor secret government activity - after all, why should ‘they’ be the only ones snooping on the activities of private citizens? - maybe its about time someone struck back by listening to the listeners.
FOREVER YOUNG:
The answer to eternal youth has been discovered already and is already being used by members of an elite secret society hell bent on first, world chaos, but with the ultimate goal of taking over key positions of power in various governments and then, YES, world domination!
Its is believed that prominent Catholics, members of parliament, heads of organisations such as the police and judiciary, and global company directors are among the members.
COLD CURE:
A cure for the common cold was invented decades ago, but the pharmaceutical industry cant afford the losses if it was ever allowed to go on sale. Billions of dollars world-wide is spent each year on basic remedies such as Asprin, Paracetamol, and decongestant powders.
MYRA HINDLEY:
It did seem a tad coincidental that she should manage to expire just as a major row about her possible release had broken out.
It is believed that although she had served her sentence, it would have been political suicide for any Home Secretary to free her.
The theory is that she is living out her days somewhere sunny under an assumed name.
SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHS:
Has anyone out there ever had personal dealings with any of the companies that actually take the photos?
Each year, every child in the country is photographed and the negatives are never released. There then comes the best of all scams - the sale back to the parents of the prints. Thousands of gullible parents are paying for the surveillance of their own offspring. Ingenious!!
Anyone For Canoeing?
What does it say about a country whose justice system lets terrorists out of prison early to make room for new offenders - allows child molester's and drunken drivers who have slaughtered people, to walk free with suspended sentences - but gives a 6 year prison term each to a housewife and her hubby for defrauding an insurance company?
Thursday, 15 May 2008
More Politicians Like This, Please
John Prescott was at a Westminster reception this
> week. He walked in late, told Andrew Robathan MP to
> "fuck off" and then said to The Telegraph's Mandrake
> columnist "Aren't you that cock from Sky News?"
> week. He walked in late, told Andrew Robathan MP to
> "fuck off" and then said to The Telegraph's Mandrake
> columnist "Aren't you that cock from Sky News?"
Monday, 12 May 2008
Alternatively
A Burmese Aid convoy is being held up in Oklahoma, while immigration authorities check into the visas of respresentatives.
Rushing to the aid of victims of the recent Tornado, in which 18 people have lost their lives, the Burmese efforts at bringing relief to the people of Oklhoma have been frustrated by American red tape.
'We are at a lost to understand why we cant just enter the country and take our food parcels to the victims' said a spokesperson.
Rushing to the aid of victims of the recent Tornado, in which 18 people have lost their lives, the Burmese efforts at bringing relief to the people of Oklhoma have been frustrated by American red tape.
'We are at a lost to understand why we cant just enter the country and take our food parcels to the victims' said a spokesperson.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
Early Release for Good Behavior:
A big round of applause for Jack Straw who has promised, belatedly, to get to grips with the prison service by seeing to it that no more potential terrorists will be released early to help with prison overcrowding. Thank goodness for that!
I for one was so relieved to hear him say it.
Of course, we shall just have to wait and see if the recently, prematurely released inmate who was found in posession of blueprints for missiles, goes on to blow anything up. The House of Commons maybe?
I for one was so relieved to hear him say it.
Of course, we shall just have to wait and see if the recently, prematurely released inmate who was found in posession of blueprints for missiles, goes on to blow anything up. The House of Commons maybe?
Monday, 31 March 2008
Princess Di Inquest
No surprises there then!!
So............ there is no proof that MI6 had carried out a 'hit' on Phil's orders!
I for one dont suppose that the average hit-man would be much good at his job if he were to leave a trail of evidence leading right back to his own front door, or that of Buck Palace!
The biggest surprise would have been if the coroner give a 'murder' verdict.
There may be a lack of evidence to back up all the conspiracy theories, but there certainly wont be a lack of questions left without satisfactory answers.
A future queen of our country died in, to say the least, odd circumstances and its taken 10 years to hold an inquest, with two coroners resigning from handling the case along the way - why?
The bodyguard who 'cant remember anything', agrees with the verdict!! how did that happen?
Perhaps governments get the conspiracy theorists that they deserve.
So............ there is no proof that MI6 had carried out a 'hit' on Phil's orders!
I for one dont suppose that the average hit-man would be much good at his job if he were to leave a trail of evidence leading right back to his own front door, or that of Buck Palace!
The biggest surprise would have been if the coroner give a 'murder' verdict.
There may be a lack of evidence to back up all the conspiracy theories, but there certainly wont be a lack of questions left without satisfactory answers.
A future queen of our country died in, to say the least, odd circumstances and its taken 10 years to hold an inquest, with two coroners resigning from handling the case along the way - why?
The bodyguard who 'cant remember anything', agrees with the verdict!! how did that happen?
Perhaps governments get the conspiracy theorists that they deserve.
Thursday, 27 March 2008
In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines:
A file has been sent to the C.P.S after a verdict of unlawful killing was returned by the coroner investigating the death of Princess Diana.
There are reports that the arrests of high ranking members of an elite MI6 taskforce, along with The Queen and Prince Phillip are about to be carried out - it has to be said that these rumours are being hotly denied, but have instigated a media frenzy nonetheless/
There are reports that the arrests of high ranking members of an elite MI6 taskforce, along with The Queen and Prince Phillip are about to be carried out - it has to be said that these rumours are being hotly denied, but have instigated a media frenzy nonetheless/
Hypocritical Mass
Why has it taken the Olympics to bring the suffering of the Tibetan people so sharply into focus?
In the great scope of things, does Tibet differ from all the countries that have land occupied illegally by Israel?
It cant be denied that the behaviour of the Chinese gorvernment is appalling, but isnt it hypocritical of foreign sympathisers of the monks in Tibet, to demand world intervention in Chinese policies, whilst condemning intervention in places such as Iraq and Afghanistan?
The reaction worldwide to the situation there raises many questions and also highlights this hypocracy nicely.
If its not alright for anti-Iraq, anti Israel & G8 protesters to riot, why is it alright for Tibetan Monks?
If China asked the UN to send an envoy to the United States to plead for the freedom of Guantanamo Bay inmates, what would the response from Washington be?
Who are America and Britain to criticise the human rights record of other countries whilst blithely colluding in carrying out the conveniently forgotten 'extraordinary rendition' project.
Up is Down, Black is White, and nothing is what it seems…………
It must all come down to resources - which country has what mineral, which pipeline goes across who’s borders.
We measure human suffering and whether to do anything about it, by what’s in it for us. We have become experts in human bean-counting. The issue of Tibet scores brownie points for British M.P.'s, Burma has gas, Iraq has oil - Therefore if the people's of these countries want to revolt, we will help them.
Countries that have nothing or, have things we can do without (Zimbabwe) we will forget about or, at most, introduce a few meaningless sanctions to keep the more vocal critics happy. And so it goes on.
I think it was Orwell who said, 'in a time of universal deceit, one man speaking the truth is an act of revolution'? Presumably though, that is as long as 'one man' is speaking the truth about a government we don’t like - if he isn’t, he wont be heard.
In the great scope of things, does Tibet differ from all the countries that have land occupied illegally by Israel?
It cant be denied that the behaviour of the Chinese gorvernment is appalling, but isnt it hypocritical of foreign sympathisers of the monks in Tibet, to demand world intervention in Chinese policies, whilst condemning intervention in places such as Iraq and Afghanistan?
The reaction worldwide to the situation there raises many questions and also highlights this hypocracy nicely.
If its not alright for anti-Iraq, anti Israel & G8 protesters to riot, why is it alright for Tibetan Monks?
If China asked the UN to send an envoy to the United States to plead for the freedom of Guantanamo Bay inmates, what would the response from Washington be?
Who are America and Britain to criticise the human rights record of other countries whilst blithely colluding in carrying out the conveniently forgotten 'extraordinary rendition' project.
Up is Down, Black is White, and nothing is what it seems…………
It must all come down to resources - which country has what mineral, which pipeline goes across who’s borders.
We measure human suffering and whether to do anything about it, by what’s in it for us. We have become experts in human bean-counting. The issue of Tibet scores brownie points for British M.P.'s, Burma has gas, Iraq has oil - Therefore if the people's of these countries want to revolt, we will help them.
Countries that have nothing or, have things we can do without (Zimbabwe) we will forget about or, at most, introduce a few meaningless sanctions to keep the more vocal critics happy. And so it goes on.
I think it was Orwell who said, 'in a time of universal deceit, one man speaking the truth is an act of revolution'? Presumably though, that is as long as 'one man' is speaking the truth about a government we don’t like - if he isn’t, he wont be heard.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Something In The Air
What is this recent obscession with perfume?
Endless ads, insulting the intelligence of every female on the planet, for room fresheners.
'Aroma' has become the new 'hygene' - if it smells nice, then it must to be clean!!
It seems that everything now has to smell of something other than what it is supposed to.
Carpets, fabrics, cars - fragrances to mask everything from pets to sweat - feet to fish. Armies of stepford wives convinced into paying a fortune on a weekly basis to make sure their loos arent talking about them behind their backs!
Not content with being harangued into spraying every orifice to mask anything resembling a natural bodily odour, now it seems, we are threatened with having it piped into the air conditioning units of shopping malls to assault our nostrils while we are out buying the very stuff we have to mask the smell of in the first place!
It seems its not enough that we have to have our ears battered with the same compilation cd's in every damn shop we go into, we will now have the indignity of being fumigated with 'tropical island' or 'summer freshness' or some other misnamed stench.
Endless ads, insulting the intelligence of every female on the planet, for room fresheners.
'Aroma' has become the new 'hygene' - if it smells nice, then it must to be clean!!
It seems that everything now has to smell of something other than what it is supposed to.
Carpets, fabrics, cars - fragrances to mask everything from pets to sweat - feet to fish. Armies of stepford wives convinced into paying a fortune on a weekly basis to make sure their loos arent talking about them behind their backs!
Not content with being harangued into spraying every orifice to mask anything resembling a natural bodily odour, now it seems, we are threatened with having it piped into the air conditioning units of shopping malls to assault our nostrils while we are out buying the very stuff we have to mask the smell of in the first place!
It seems its not enough that we have to have our ears battered with the same compilation cd's in every damn shop we go into, we will now have the indignity of being fumigated with 'tropical island' or 'summer freshness' or some other misnamed stench.
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
Boom Boom!
Look no further than the East Anglian Police's Hate Crimes unit, for a complete lack of logic in this world. They are currently to be found wasting valuable resources investigating an episode of Basil Brush, the scriptwriters of whom, saw fit to include a rather amusing piece on gypsies. This, in turn promted an angry response from a 'romany' spokesperson, who objected to the inference in the programme that it was a common habit amongst romany travellers to take items not belonging to them.
The irony being that at this moment in time, some 500 plus 'travellers' are illegally occupying - one could use the term 'stealing' - various pieces of privately owned land throughout East Anglia with the Police seemingly powerless to prosecute them.
Aside from anything else, why ARE they called 'travellers', when they seem to spend so much time fighting to stay static!
There is complete disregard for the law on our streets, the police have surrendered great swaths of the UK to local criminals and the only thing they can think of to get the 'crimes solved' figures up is to investigate a puppet fox!
It really is time that the Police were reminded, that they are public servants, and that they commanded more respect when they were a 'force' rather than a 'service'.
The irony being that at this moment in time, some 500 plus 'travellers' are illegally occupying - one could use the term 'stealing' - various pieces of privately owned land throughout East Anglia with the Police seemingly powerless to prosecute them.
Aside from anything else, why ARE they called 'travellers', when they seem to spend so much time fighting to stay static!
There is complete disregard for the law on our streets, the police have surrendered great swaths of the UK to local criminals and the only thing they can think of to get the 'crimes solved' figures up is to investigate a puppet fox!
It really is time that the Police were reminded, that they are public servants, and that they commanded more respect when they were a 'force' rather than a 'service'.
Saturday, 15 March 2008
Too Many Secrets:
A controversial idea has been put before a secret government quango recently. Leaked documents show plans to give every person in the UK a super-disc with the private and confidential details of the entire population on it .
The idea is that once everyone knows everything about everybody else, the cost of keeping such information private will be considerably cut.
A minister was quoted as saying ‘we think it’s a marvellous idea - we will no longer be held responsible when information goes missing, and it will mean less bad publicity, something weve been trying to avoid for some time'.
The idea is that once everyone knows everything about everybody else, the cost of keeping such information private will be considerably cut.
A minister was quoted as saying ‘we think it’s a marvellous idea - we will no longer be held responsible when information goes missing, and it will mean less bad publicity, something weve been trying to avoid for some time'.
Thursday, 6 March 2008
D.N.A
George Orwell must be rotating quietly in his coffin.
All the scary bits from 1984 have either been welcomed with open arms, or treated with a good deal of apathy by the populace. Big Brother is alive, well and rather than having been forced on the people by an evil regime, has been introduced slowly, willingly and become accepted as inevitable.
It isnt enough that we are give a number at birth - under a rather clever scheme called 'school portraits' we then have yearly photos taken, logging our development and which our parents are then conned into actually paying for! (Has anyone out there actually met someone who works for one of these photographic companies?)
We are given a national insurance number when we leave school. We then fall over ourselves in the rush to apply for passports, driver's licences, buy cars with personalised registration plates and, now, tracking devices (purely for 'insurance purposes',you understand).
We are photographed in almost every street we walk in, along every motorway we drive on and in every public building we enter - and if that wasnt enough, we may end up with our D.N.A. stored on yet another database which will be farmed out to some private company anywhere in the world, for processing and possible misplacing when one of their employee's has his/her laptop stolen.
The possibilities for chaos will be endless. A stolen cigarette butt or hair placed at the scene of a crime will become a nightmare for someone wrongly accused - whilst making it relatively easy for real criminals to implicate a person they dont like and walk free from court on the grounds of 'reasonable doubt'.
And what of the people who hold this information? Can we ever really trust any government? What happens when we have a government we really know we can't trust? Who are the people who will have access to the databases. Worse still, who will be able to just simply buy them?
If an American company can be given DVLA data as happened in a recent scandal, just who else will be able to purchase or process all this new information?
We sit watching c.c.tv footage of yet more criminals committing crime while being filmed by camera's that they know are there - seemingly oblivious to the obvious irony.
We will accept ID cards because we are told that they will help in the fight against terror - and we will do that despite the fact that most of the suspected terrorists that have been apprehended in the UK & America have been bona fide citizens complete with passports.
Just what will it take to make ordinary people sit up and call a halt to this - will we accept cameras in our homes? Our telephones tapped? Or has the moment passed and its now too late to stop any of it?
All the scary bits from 1984 have either been welcomed with open arms, or treated with a good deal of apathy by the populace. Big Brother is alive, well and rather than having been forced on the people by an evil regime, has been introduced slowly, willingly and become accepted as inevitable.
It isnt enough that we are give a number at birth - under a rather clever scheme called 'school portraits' we then have yearly photos taken, logging our development and which our parents are then conned into actually paying for! (Has anyone out there actually met someone who works for one of these photographic companies?)
We are given a national insurance number when we leave school. We then fall over ourselves in the rush to apply for passports, driver's licences, buy cars with personalised registration plates and, now, tracking devices (purely for 'insurance purposes',you understand).
We are photographed in almost every street we walk in, along every motorway we drive on and in every public building we enter - and if that wasnt enough, we may end up with our D.N.A. stored on yet another database which will be farmed out to some private company anywhere in the world, for processing and possible misplacing when one of their employee's has his/her laptop stolen.
The possibilities for chaos will be endless. A stolen cigarette butt or hair placed at the scene of a crime will become a nightmare for someone wrongly accused - whilst making it relatively easy for real criminals to implicate a person they dont like and walk free from court on the grounds of 'reasonable doubt'.
And what of the people who hold this information? Can we ever really trust any government? What happens when we have a government we really know we can't trust? Who are the people who will have access to the databases. Worse still, who will be able to just simply buy them?
If an American company can be given DVLA data as happened in a recent scandal, just who else will be able to purchase or process all this new information?
We sit watching c.c.tv footage of yet more criminals committing crime while being filmed by camera's that they know are there - seemingly oblivious to the obvious irony.
We will accept ID cards because we are told that they will help in the fight against terror - and we will do that despite the fact that most of the suspected terrorists that have been apprehended in the UK & America have been bona fide citizens complete with passports.
Just what will it take to make ordinary people sit up and call a halt to this - will we accept cameras in our homes? Our telephones tapped? Or has the moment passed and its now too late to stop any of it?
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines:
Declining to give a reason why it hasn’t been done before, despite being in a position to do so,Gordon Brown & the UN have today announced that the poppy fields of Afghanistan have been completely destroyed in a combined American and British Forces operation.
The crops, said to be responsible for at least 60% of the drugs on British Streets alone, were crop sprayed with an organic weedkiller. The money that up until now has been spent peace keeping, policing the trade and supplying arms to the war-torn country, has instead been given in subsidies to the local farmers.
A debate on stiffer penalities for celeb addicts has been put on the back-burner
The crops, said to be responsible for at least 60% of the drugs on British Streets alone, were crop sprayed with an organic weedkiller. The money that up until now has been spent peace keeping, policing the trade and supplying arms to the war-torn country, has instead been given in subsidies to the local farmers.
A debate on stiffer penalities for celeb addicts has been put on the back-burner
Thursday, 21 February 2008
In A Perfect World : Here Could Be The News Headlines:
A freak meteor storm in outer space has caused the debris from the recently shot down american satellite to alter its trajectory and it is now calculated to be heading directly for Washington.
An emergency conference has been called to discuss the possible effects of Hydrazine on the population.
All denials that the debris would not be harmful seem to have been retracted now that even the White House could be directly in the path of the falling space trash.
Rumours are also circulating that the satellite was not 'rogue', and that the sole reason for shooting it down in the first place was to test American military ability to do so - in answer to the Chinese who performed a similar feat over their own country some months ago(in other words, they got there first!)
An emergency conference has been called to discuss the possible effects of Hydrazine on the population.
All denials that the debris would not be harmful seem to have been retracted now that even the White House could be directly in the path of the falling space trash.
Rumours are also circulating that the satellite was not 'rogue', and that the sole reason for shooting it down in the first place was to test American military ability to do so - in answer to the Chinese who performed a similar feat over their own country some months ago(in other words, they got there first!)
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
And Now the News From Where You Live
Think of all the really good drama that has been produced over the last 50years. Now take off everything with an all english, completely able- bodied production crew and cast - and then ask if any of it would have been made if the form below had been in existence. This is a leaked memo from the B.B.C. to various production companies.
BBC Vision Programme On Screen Portrayal Form
BBC Vision is committed to promoting all kinds of diversity on and off-screen. As part of this commitment we require this form to be filled in for each BBC Vision production. The information you provide is purely for internal use and will allow BBC Vision to monitor on-screen portrayal of ethnic diversity and disability across all programmes.
Programme Title/Series Title:…………………………………………………………
Company name……………………………………………..
BBC Commissioning Executive:……………………………………………………
Cultural Diversity
Please indicate using the boxes below, how you perceive* the people appearing onscreen in your production:
· How many people were featured in the programme/series on screen in the different roles
· From which ethnic group do you believe they originate?
(Please write the number of people in the relevant box on each line)
*We are seeking to collect your perceptions of the ethnic mix of onscreen talent in your programme as this is likely to be representative of the audiences’ perceptions of the make up of your programme.
Lead Supporting/Contributors Presenter/Journalist
White
Black
Asian
Chinese
Mixed race
Other
Total
Disability
Please indicate number of disabled people you believe to be represented in the programme and their role (eg. presenter/reporter/interviewee, vox pop, contributor, contestant, lead/supporting actor or extra)
Number: ________________________
Role: ___________________________
Now ask yourself this:
If I were disabled, or from an ethnic minority, would i want to be employed purely to fulfill someone´s politically correct idea of a work quota?
Or would i want to be employed on merit?
BBC Vision Programme On Screen Portrayal Form
BBC Vision is committed to promoting all kinds of diversity on and off-screen. As part of this commitment we require this form to be filled in for each BBC Vision production. The information you provide is purely for internal use and will allow BBC Vision to monitor on-screen portrayal of ethnic diversity and disability across all programmes.
Programme Title/Series Title:…………………………………………………………
Company name……………………………………………..
BBC Commissioning Executive:……………………………………………………
Cultural Diversity
Please indicate using the boxes below, how you perceive* the people appearing onscreen in your production:
· How many people were featured in the programme/series on screen in the different roles
· From which ethnic group do you believe they originate?
(Please write the number of people in the relevant box on each line)
*We are seeking to collect your perceptions of the ethnic mix of onscreen talent in your programme as this is likely to be representative of the audiences’ perceptions of the make up of your programme.
Lead Supporting/Contributors Presenter/Journalist
White
Black
Asian
Chinese
Mixed race
Other
Total
Disability
Please indicate number of disabled people you believe to be represented in the programme and their role (eg. presenter/reporter/interviewee, vox pop, contributor, contestant, lead/supporting actor or extra)
Number: ________________________
Role: ___________________________
Now ask yourself this:
If I were disabled, or from an ethnic minority, would i want to be employed purely to fulfill someone´s politically correct idea of a work quota?
Or would i want to be employed on merit?
Friday, 15 February 2008
Calling all Ageing Billionaires and Rock Stars
To whom it may concern:
I am a reasonable looking (well, maybe a bit bit hard and calculating) blonde.
I'm english and an ex 'model'in my thirties. I have an evil sense of humour and I dont mind having sex with old men.
Ive been around the block a few times but i can be a bit transparent which is why i like my men gullible and on the wrong side of 60.
Ideally, i would like to get pregnant & married in a short space of time, and if a quick heart attack for hubby isnt on the cards then a divorce would have to be in order. Of course, i would like to make sure that a large settlement will be forthcoming - several million pounds should do nicely.
I would like the split to be easy, but as i have ideas above my station and want to become a lawyer, i will be able to defend myself if necessary.
References can be provided at www.exbeatletart.com
I am a reasonable looking (well, maybe a bit bit hard and calculating) blonde.
I'm english and an ex 'model'in my thirties. I have an evil sense of humour and I dont mind having sex with old men.
Ive been around the block a few times but i can be a bit transparent which is why i like my men gullible and on the wrong side of 60.
Ideally, i would like to get pregnant & married in a short space of time, and if a quick heart attack for hubby isnt on the cards then a divorce would have to be in order. Of course, i would like to make sure that a large settlement will be forthcoming - several million pounds should do nicely.
I would like the split to be easy, but as i have ideas above my station and want to become a lawyer, i will be able to defend myself if necessary.
References can be provided at www.exbeatletart.com
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Easy Nick's
What a relief that the Police have cut crime to such an extent they are now able to concentrate on real criminals and take the time to view the evidence with which to prosecute them.
Demanding to see the secretly filmed footage of Amy Winehouse’s latest lapse into a drug-induced oblivion, they clearly see the 'crime solved' rates soaring ever upwards.
Quite rightly, less important crimes such as murder, gun running, people trafficking, anti social behaviour, car theft, and armed robbery can now be put firmly on the back-burner whilst they give Ms. Winehouse the undivided attention of their best investigators.
I would like to suggest that they call up the helipcopters and armed response units at the same time and waste even more of tax-payers money on their own surveillance, as opposed to relying on Rupert Murdoch's.
That, of course, is when they are'nt busy parading around in matching white baseball caps demanding higher wages or interviewing anne robinson to see what she thinks about Welsh people.
Demanding to see the secretly filmed footage of Amy Winehouse’s latest lapse into a drug-induced oblivion, they clearly see the 'crime solved' rates soaring ever upwards.
Quite rightly, less important crimes such as murder, gun running, people trafficking, anti social behaviour, car theft, and armed robbery can now be put firmly on the back-burner whilst they give Ms. Winehouse the undivided attention of their best investigators.
I would like to suggest that they call up the helipcopters and armed response units at the same time and waste even more of tax-payers money on their own surveillance, as opposed to relying on Rupert Murdoch's.
That, of course, is when they are'nt busy parading around in matching white baseball caps demanding higher wages or interviewing anne robinson to see what she thinks about Welsh people.
Monday, 21 January 2008
What's So Special About Northern Rock?
At last!!! a financial rescue package has been made available for small private businesses who are experiencing difficulties staying afloat in these troubled times.
The government, with the personal attention of Gordon Brown himself, is obviously going to come to the rescue of all , with large cash sums and the help of businessmen such as Richard Branson.
I can now rest assured, that even though the Banks have already lent me more than my assets are worth - which makes no sense to my accountant - and that I have been trading insolvently - which is apparantly a crime, with Gordon giving me lots of money, and the taxpayer chipping in as well, my failing business can be turned around and the British economy saved at the same time.
The government, with the personal attention of Gordon Brown himself, is obviously going to come to the rescue of all , with large cash sums and the help of businessmen such as Richard Branson.
I can now rest assured, that even though the Banks have already lent me more than my assets are worth - which makes no sense to my accountant - and that I have been trading insolvently - which is apparantly a crime, with Gordon giving me lots of money, and the taxpayer chipping in as well, my failing business can be turned around and the British economy saved at the same time.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Hollywood Writers On Strike
This could be the opportunity that we amateurs have been waiting for. Perhaps we could step into the breach and tell it like it really is?
Perhaps now, 'The Hero' will have more than the requisite ‘24 hours’ to get himself out of trouble.
He will have more time, than whatever the timer is set at, to diffuse ‘the bomb‘.
He wont have to be framed and shot before he discovers who the ‘bad’ cop is - because he is the hero, he will know already.
He wont always get the girl.
He will be able to consign favourite phrases such as: 'lets DO this!' - 'weve got a situation here' - ‘I just got to get me one of those’ - ‘I’m getting too old for this shit‘ - ‘I’ve got a really bad feeling about this’ - & 'Nuke 'em, lets nuke the bastards'- to the dustbin where they belong.
America will cease to be ‘The Leaders of the Free World’ and they will cease to lay claim to having invented everything from the bikini (early Roman) to the jet engine ( Frank Whittle) to the Enigma machine (scientists at Bletchley Park - that’s in England) - and - most importantly, the second world war will have the correct start date (1939 and NOT 1942 when you yanks decided to join in!)
Perhaps they should'nt stay on strike for too long - we could get used to it!! On the other hand, it may re-educate the American cinema-going public.
Perhaps now, 'The Hero' will have more than the requisite ‘24 hours’ to get himself out of trouble.
He will have more time, than whatever the timer is set at, to diffuse ‘the bomb‘.
He wont have to be framed and shot before he discovers who the ‘bad’ cop is - because he is the hero, he will know already.
He wont always get the girl.
He will be able to consign favourite phrases such as: 'lets DO this!' - 'weve got a situation here' - ‘I just got to get me one of those’ - ‘I’m getting too old for this shit‘ - ‘I’ve got a really bad feeling about this’ - & 'Nuke 'em, lets nuke the bastards'- to the dustbin where they belong.
America will cease to be ‘The Leaders of the Free World’ and they will cease to lay claim to having invented everything from the bikini (early Roman) to the jet engine ( Frank Whittle) to the Enigma machine (scientists at Bletchley Park - that’s in England) - and - most importantly, the second world war will have the correct start date (1939 and NOT 1942 when you yanks decided to join in!)
Perhaps they should'nt stay on strike for too long - we could get used to it!! On the other hand, it may re-educate the American cinema-going public.
Dead Man Crashing
Did anybody (excuse the pun) see a documentary with Sterling Moss, which looked at the use of cadavers in the research of crash impact on car passengers .
In America, it would appear that real dead bodies are used to measure possible head and spinal injuries in the event of crashing.
Here are some questions for the researchers:
Where do these bodies come from? and do their relatives know?
Have they had their organs removed?
Who cleans up after the crash?
Does one have to carry a card, like a sort of `anti´organ donor card in order to avoid being used as a cheap alternative to crash test dummies?
Are the cadavers kept in the deep freeze and de-frosted for the action scenes? Or do they have a 'sell by' date?
I've never minded having my body used for scientific research, after death preferably, but do i really want to take part in what must resemble a sequel to Night of the Living Dead?
When our loved ones depart, do we really want them to embark on the journey into the afterlife by being flung out of a Porsch at 80 miles per hour whilst doing a passable impersonation of Boris Karloff. I think not!
In America, it would appear that real dead bodies are used to measure possible head and spinal injuries in the event of crashing.
Here are some questions for the researchers:
Where do these bodies come from? and do their relatives know?
Have they had their organs removed?
Who cleans up after the crash?
Does one have to carry a card, like a sort of `anti´organ donor card in order to avoid being used as a cheap alternative to crash test dummies?
Are the cadavers kept in the deep freeze and de-frosted for the action scenes? Or do they have a 'sell by' date?
I've never minded having my body used for scientific research, after death preferably, but do i really want to take part in what must resemble a sequel to Night of the Living Dead?
When our loved ones depart, do we really want them to embark on the journey into the afterlife by being flung out of a Porsch at 80 miles per hour whilst doing a passable impersonation of Boris Karloff. I think not!
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
For A limited Period Only
The pope has today released details of the Vatican’s end of year special offers.
Presumably in an attempt to halt the decline in attendance figures, all Catholics will be given less time in purgatory as long as they visit the shrine at Lourdes. This is a cunning plan , not least because it will rather cleverly boost the coffers of the Church at the same time.
Watch this space for news of further ‘downgrading’ of other sins, such as getting over friendly with choir boys, beating the wife, alcohol abuse, and waging war on other religions.
No one as yet has questioned whether the Pope has the power to grant this concession, which has hitherto been in the hands of the Almighty.
Presumably in an attempt to halt the decline in attendance figures, all Catholics will be given less time in purgatory as long as they visit the shrine at Lourdes. This is a cunning plan , not least because it will rather cleverly boost the coffers of the Church at the same time.
Watch this space for news of further ‘downgrading’ of other sins, such as getting over friendly with choir boys, beating the wife, alcohol abuse, and waging war on other religions.
No one as yet has questioned whether the Pope has the power to grant this concession, which has hitherto been in the hands of the Almighty.
Friday, 7 December 2007
For The Hard Of Understanding - or, who should I arrest?
The recently produced guidelines for police forces across the country, giving them instructions on how to tell whether a person is drunk or not - beg some questions, not least:
What the hell has happened to police training ? or
How well does the average policeman actually know the laws of the land?
as well as:
What other types of criminal behaviour do they need help in spotting‘?
Here are some tips on alcohol abuse and other petty crimes that they are welcome to download in the event that they want to conserve what’s left of tax payers money when it comes to police budgeting.
Drunken Behaviour:- Usually apparent when someone is lying face down, on the pavement, in a pool of his/her own vomit, or swaying wildly whilst flailing his/her tatooed arms about aggressively. It is possible to intervene before all this happens, by going into the bar that they are swaying/lying outside and arresting the person who served them their last drink - it is an offence to serve someone who is swaying, babbling and drooling all at the same time. If the person is only twelve, again, it is possible to arrest the person who served them the alcohol, as it is also an offence to serve someone who is not 18.
Aggressive behaviour :- this is when someone shouts, spits, kicks,or swears at you, for no apparent reason other than that you are wearing a uniform complete with a rather silly helmet. You can arrest them for this. The same applies to teenagers throwing stones at your panda car. When this happens, you are supposed to stop the car, get out and run after them, catch them and yes, arrest them!
Shoplifting :- this is when a person, usually a ‘chav’ a ‘pikey’ or a depressed celebrity, takes items from shop display and hides them about their person, sometimes up their jumpers, inside their big pockets, or, the real giveaway , their oversized shopping bag.
When they are outside the shop and have made no attempt to pay, then , youve guess correctly, you are allowed to arrest them.
Car theft:- here, the criminal will be acting suspiciously by loitering around the vehicle he has earmarked - he will have about his person a long strip of metal and will be forcing it down the window groove and into the door lock, or he may have taken the easy way out and lobbed a large brick at the side window.
He will then get into the car and attempt to drive it away. At this point, it is advisable to stop him - this is done by arresting him.
Sometimes this can lead to a high speed pursuit of the criminal. This is very exciting and is an excuse to call up the helicopter for help. It is also very lucrative as the ensuing film can be sold to the t.v. companies for 30mins of cheap entertainment. At the same time the programme is aired, a Police spokesman can be telling the public how c.c.t.v. cameras are helping to cut crime. The viewing public have so far, not seen the irony in this.
It is rumoured that joining 'equity' is now an obligatory part of becoming a police officer.
A victim: - this person has to be dealt with in a kind and polite manner. They may be traumatised and in shock. In this situation, you must:
(1) react with care, make lots of notes, give the impression that theirs is the most important of crimes, and that it will receive your undivided attention.
(2)Proceed slowly to a little- used desk at the police station. Put everything connected with the incident in a file which you then have to place at the bottom of the big pile in the ‘out’ tray
(3)A secretary can then send a ‘commiserations on becoming a victim of crime’ letter, signed by the Chief Constable him/herself.
The ‘victim’ doesn’t need to be arrested, unless they have tried to protect themselves by having the cheek to try some defensive moves whilst waiting for help from the Police, in which case it will do the statistics no harm at all if you arrest them as well!
What the hell has happened to police training ? or
How well does the average policeman actually know the laws of the land?
as well as:
What other types of criminal behaviour do they need help in spotting‘?
Here are some tips on alcohol abuse and other petty crimes that they are welcome to download in the event that they want to conserve what’s left of tax payers money when it comes to police budgeting.
Drunken Behaviour:- Usually apparent when someone is lying face down, on the pavement, in a pool of his/her own vomit, or swaying wildly whilst flailing his/her tatooed arms about aggressively. It is possible to intervene before all this happens, by going into the bar that they are swaying/lying outside and arresting the person who served them their last drink - it is an offence to serve someone who is swaying, babbling and drooling all at the same time. If the person is only twelve, again, it is possible to arrest the person who served them the alcohol, as it is also an offence to serve someone who is not 18.
Aggressive behaviour :- this is when someone shouts, spits, kicks,or swears at you, for no apparent reason other than that you are wearing a uniform complete with a rather silly helmet. You can arrest them for this. The same applies to teenagers throwing stones at your panda car. When this happens, you are supposed to stop the car, get out and run after them, catch them and yes, arrest them!
Shoplifting :- this is when a person, usually a ‘chav’ a ‘pikey’ or a depressed celebrity, takes items from shop display and hides them about their person, sometimes up their jumpers, inside their big pockets, or, the real giveaway , their oversized shopping bag.
When they are outside the shop and have made no attempt to pay, then , youve guess correctly, you are allowed to arrest them.
Car theft:- here, the criminal will be acting suspiciously by loitering around the vehicle he has earmarked - he will have about his person a long strip of metal and will be forcing it down the window groove and into the door lock, or he may have taken the easy way out and lobbed a large brick at the side window.
He will then get into the car and attempt to drive it away. At this point, it is advisable to stop him - this is done by arresting him.
Sometimes this can lead to a high speed pursuit of the criminal. This is very exciting and is an excuse to call up the helicopter for help. It is also very lucrative as the ensuing film can be sold to the t.v. companies for 30mins of cheap entertainment. At the same time the programme is aired, a Police spokesman can be telling the public how c.c.t.v. cameras are helping to cut crime. The viewing public have so far, not seen the irony in this.
It is rumoured that joining 'equity' is now an obligatory part of becoming a police officer.
A victim: - this person has to be dealt with in a kind and polite manner. They may be traumatised and in shock. In this situation, you must:
(1) react with care, make lots of notes, give the impression that theirs is the most important of crimes, and that it will receive your undivided attention.
(2)Proceed slowly to a little- used desk at the police station. Put everything connected with the incident in a file which you then have to place at the bottom of the big pile in the ‘out’ tray
(3)A secretary can then send a ‘commiserations on becoming a victim of crime’ letter, signed by the Chief Constable him/herself.
The ‘victim’ doesn’t need to be arrested, unless they have tried to protect themselves by having the cheek to try some defensive moves whilst waiting for help from the Police, in which case it will do the statistics no harm at all if you arrest them as well!
Wednesday, 5 December 2007
Just Fill In This Form
So………… it all started off with the banks being allowed to give credit ,offer loans and generally throw money with wild abandon at all sorts of people, without paying much attention to their incomes, over a prolonged period of time.
This, of course fuelled a spending spree that made both the end of the Thatcher years and the beginning of the present Labour government look very good.
For some insane reason which makes no sense to anyone outside of the banking industry, having lots of people borrowing money means that the populace are confident - the theory is that if they are borrowing, they must be able to pay back -mustn’t they?
When it became obvious that many were swimming completely out of their depths,the Banks then threw them a lifeline by allowing them to borrow against the equity of their homes.
According to the ads at the time, you could ‘clear all your debts and still have enough to buy ‘this’, with the camera panning to a rather large, brand new saloon car parked in the driveway.
The trouble with that theory, was that once people had cleared the credit cards and put the debt onto the mortgage - ‘into one low monthly payment’- just like Carol Vorderman beseeched them to do - they went shopping!
Like stoned teenagers raiding the fridge when they have the munchies, they embarked on a mad rampage of the high street stores that made Ivana Trump, Paris Hilton and Posh Spice look quite restrained.
If they had been made to rip up the credit cards, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but to do that would mean less revenue for the banks - and, as someone with the brain cell of an amoeba would know, Banks don’t make money from people in credit, they only make money from people in debt .
Now there are companies setting up, looking suspiciously like offshoots of the banks, who are offering to buy the whole house to release what little, if any, equity these people have got left - at current market value of course ! Which as everyone knows is a tad low at the moment.
So……….what’s next? When people have no credit left, cant pay back what they have borrowed and not only don’t own the house any more, but cant pay the rent either, then what?
Where does that leave the economy over the next 5-10 years?
And Gordon Brown is an economist!!allegedly!
This, of course fuelled a spending spree that made both the end of the Thatcher years and the beginning of the present Labour government look very good.
For some insane reason which makes no sense to anyone outside of the banking industry, having lots of people borrowing money means that the populace are confident - the theory is that if they are borrowing, they must be able to pay back -mustn’t they?
When it became obvious that many were swimming completely out of their depths,the Banks then threw them a lifeline by allowing them to borrow against the equity of their homes.
According to the ads at the time, you could ‘clear all your debts and still have enough to buy ‘this’, with the camera panning to a rather large, brand new saloon car parked in the driveway.
The trouble with that theory, was that once people had cleared the credit cards and put the debt onto the mortgage - ‘into one low monthly payment’- just like Carol Vorderman beseeched them to do - they went shopping!
Like stoned teenagers raiding the fridge when they have the munchies, they embarked on a mad rampage of the high street stores that made Ivana Trump, Paris Hilton and Posh Spice look quite restrained.
If they had been made to rip up the credit cards, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but to do that would mean less revenue for the banks - and, as someone with the brain cell of an amoeba would know, Banks don’t make money from people in credit, they only make money from people in debt .
Now there are companies setting up, looking suspiciously like offshoots of the banks, who are offering to buy the whole house to release what little, if any, equity these people have got left - at current market value of course ! Which as everyone knows is a tad low at the moment.
So……….what’s next? When people have no credit left, cant pay back what they have borrowed and not only don’t own the house any more, but cant pay the rent either, then what?
Where does that leave the economy over the next 5-10 years?
And Gordon Brown is an economist!!allegedly!
Friday, 2 November 2007
Who's Got The Biggest Flag!
Oh to be a fly on the wall when the Free World Representative, Ms Rice, appears in front of various heads of governments to explain why she would not like it if Turkey invades Iraq -
What reasons will she give I wonder? How will she justify not wanting another country to do exactly what hers has done?
At least turkey has got a point - the Kurdish rebels are shooting at them after all!
Quite what the real reason for the American invasion was, we can only guess at, although there must be some statistics somewhere to show just how often America has had to invade a country to oust a leader who they themselves have manouvered into power.
How will Ms Rice justify it to herself?
‘we’ve got a bigger flag’??
'our god is better than their god'??
'its OUR oil'!!??
Given that it seems to be widely accepted that George Bush’s dad supplied the gas that was used on the Kurds in the gulf war - it would seem quite reasonable of Turkey to assume, perhaps, that America would be on their side?? Wouldn’t it?
What reasons will she give I wonder? How will she justify not wanting another country to do exactly what hers has done?
At least turkey has got a point - the Kurdish rebels are shooting at them after all!
Quite what the real reason for the American invasion was, we can only guess at, although there must be some statistics somewhere to show just how often America has had to invade a country to oust a leader who they themselves have manouvered into power.
How will Ms Rice justify it to herself?
‘we’ve got a bigger flag’??
'our god is better than their god'??
'its OUR oil'!!??
Given that it seems to be widely accepted that George Bush’s dad supplied the gas that was used on the Kurds in the gulf war - it would seem quite reasonable of Turkey to assume, perhaps, that America would be on their side?? Wouldn’t it?
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
Saturday, 27 October 2007
The Chopin Manuscript
The first-ever serialized audiobook, narrated by Alfred Molina.
On sale September 25, 2007—only on Audible.com.
On sale September 25, 2007—only on Audible.com.
Tuesday, 9 October 2007
In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines
The police today have had to admit that there are in fact ‘no go' areas in most cities - something that they have denied for some time - and that despite such initiatives as ‘zero tolerance’ and operation ‘softly softly’ in key areas, the fight against crime is being comprehensively lost.
They are asking for extra funding for more helicopters, secretarial personnel, speed and C.C.T.V. cameras, and better conference facilities for their Masonic lodge meetings. Some Chief Constables would like to see mesh barriers on all the panda cars, similar to the shields on army landrovers in 70's belfast, to protect their officers from stone throwing children.
They are coming around to the idea that most ‘initiatives’ and ‘crackdowns’ have little effect long term, and that more consistent policing is needed in all communities . Unfortunately, with most chief constables coming straight to the job from university, and holding degrees in anything ranging from horticulture to media management, the lack of experienced strong leaders is hampering the effort for any real progress.
They are asking for extra funding for more helicopters, secretarial personnel, speed and C.C.T.V. cameras, and better conference facilities for their Masonic lodge meetings. Some Chief Constables would like to see mesh barriers on all the panda cars, similar to the shields on army landrovers in 70's belfast, to protect their officers from stone throwing children.
They are coming around to the idea that most ‘initiatives’ and ‘crackdowns’ have little effect long term, and that more consistent policing is needed in all communities . Unfortunately, with most chief constables coming straight to the job from university, and holding degrees in anything ranging from horticulture to media management, the lack of experienced strong leaders is hampering the effort for any real progress.
Post The First Paragraph Of Your Book On This Site
Give the title, the category under which its written (sci-fi, fiction, crime thriller,etc.,) and an email address where you can be contacted. Good Luck!
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Friday, 28 September 2007
Penelope Skye, Private Eye - by Mae Chapman: category:childrens
MONKEYMAGIC SAID:
In the beginning
Penelope Skye was 6 years old when she decided she wanted to be a cowboy. “Whoops” and “Yee-haas” were heard around the house from under a giant Stetson which once belonged to her uncle John ‘Tex’ Skye.
When she turned 7 however, Penelope Skye wanted to be an air hostess. She liked the white gloves and matching hat. Much more sophisticated than a cowboy, William her best friend in the world said. Visitors to the Skye family home were handed a “drink with their meal” and shown the emergency exits on a number of occasions.
At the grand old age of 8 Penelope Skye knew that her true calling was to be a deep sea diver. Wearing an ancient diving helmet once belonging to her mother’s cousin Robert (the one who was in the navy for an all too brief time before “the incident” in 1947) she would clomp slowly around the house careful not to bump into furniture, her breathing muffled and sounding not dissimilar to Darth Vader.
Aged 9, Penelope Skye swapped her helmet for a long beige mackintosh of her Father’s (sleeves rolled up at the elbows several times over), a pair of her sister’s sunglasses, an old briefcase found in the attic and a hat of her granddad George’s. Thus disguised, Penelope Skye became a Secret Agent.
This latest profession lasted longer than the deep sea diver, not quite as long as the air hostess and around the same duration as the cowboy, but something about it didn’t quite feel right. Almost like she was on the right track but running the wrong way. After discussing it with William her best friend in the world she knew exactly what it was she wanted to be.
02 September 2007 04:01
In the beginning
Penelope Skye was 6 years old when she decided she wanted to be a cowboy. “Whoops” and “Yee-haas” were heard around the house from under a giant Stetson which once belonged to her uncle John ‘Tex’ Skye.
When she turned 7 however, Penelope Skye wanted to be an air hostess. She liked the white gloves and matching hat. Much more sophisticated than a cowboy, William her best friend in the world said. Visitors to the Skye family home were handed a “drink with their meal” and shown the emergency exits on a number of occasions.
At the grand old age of 8 Penelope Skye knew that her true calling was to be a deep sea diver. Wearing an ancient diving helmet once belonging to her mother’s cousin Robert (the one who was in the navy for an all too brief time before “the incident” in 1947) she would clomp slowly around the house careful not to bump into furniture, her breathing muffled and sounding not dissimilar to Darth Vader.
Aged 9, Penelope Skye swapped her helmet for a long beige mackintosh of her Father’s (sleeves rolled up at the elbows several times over), a pair of her sister’s sunglasses, an old briefcase found in the attic and a hat of her granddad George’s. Thus disguised, Penelope Skye became a Secret Agent.
This latest profession lasted longer than the deep sea diver, not quite as long as the air hostess and around the same duration as the cowboy, but something about it didn’t quite feel right. Almost like she was on the right track but running the wrong way. After discussing it with William her best friend in the world she knew exactly what it was she wanted to be.
02 September 2007 04:01
Monday, 24 September 2007
In A Perfect World - Here Could Be The News Headlines
With the sending of European satellites to the moon, comes the subsequent revelation that none of the abandoned space vehicles supposedly left by NASA on the surface after their craft had departed in the 60’s can be found. In light of this, the government of the U.S.A. has had to admit publicly that the moon landings never took place and were filmed in mock-up studio at area 51. The ‘misplacing' of the original film footage by NASA is also cited as a reason for the admission after many years of denial. Conspiracy theorists were 'very pleased', though not surprised’ by the news.
Thursday, 20 September 2007
The Forum - crime/thriller - add the next paragraph, lets produce the first multi-author on-line novel!
They walked slowly on the balls of their feet. They didnt want to attract attention or alert the target. The two of them had been waiting on the upper floor all day for her return, and they had had nowhere to sit. They were fighting boredom and fatigue but like the professionals they were, they had patiently awaited the sound of the footsteps they now heard moving along the hallway outside the target's apartment.
A big part of their job was playing the waiting game and they were very, very good at what they did.
The closing of the door and the lock clicking into place was their signal. They quickened their pace, moving lightly and effeciently as they descended the staircase.
It almost felt like an anticlimax after the long wait.
The first and larger of the two guys threw his shoulder against the door. He was built like rugby playing baboon. He appeared to have no neck because his ears lobes seemed to be attached to his shoulders, which gave the overall impression that his knuckles would scrape on the ground as he walked. The door collapsed like a felled tree, almost immediately. The second guy walked straight in behind his partner - his gun drawn, complete with silencer, and put a small hole straight through the centre of the targets forehead. She still had unspoken words of surprise and outrage forming on her lips as she fell. The shooter then put another round into her chest, more for pleasure than as a safety measure and they both turned and walked out smiling as they went, a job well done.
8 seconds max, death to getaway.
They walked casually back to their patrol car, got in and drove away.
It was only the briefest of starts to a war.
A big part of their job was playing the waiting game and they were very, very good at what they did.
The closing of the door and the lock clicking into place was their signal. They quickened their pace, moving lightly and effeciently as they descended the staircase.
It almost felt like an anticlimax after the long wait.
The first and larger of the two guys threw his shoulder against the door. He was built like rugby playing baboon. He appeared to have no neck because his ears lobes seemed to be attached to his shoulders, which gave the overall impression that his knuckles would scrape on the ground as he walked. The door collapsed like a felled tree, almost immediately. The second guy walked straight in behind his partner - his gun drawn, complete with silencer, and put a small hole straight through the centre of the targets forehead. She still had unspoken words of surprise and outrage forming on her lips as she fell. The shooter then put another round into her chest, more for pleasure than as a safety measure and they both turned and walked out smiling as they went, a job well done.
8 seconds max, death to getaway.
They walked casually back to their patrol car, got in and drove away.
It was only the briefest of starts to a war.
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
this months book review - the accident man by tom cain
This is an interesting idea - taking the death of Princess Diana and hypothesising that the ‘hit’, was organised by a combination of the ‘men in grey’ in Whitehall and the Russians , all of whom with interests in the land- mine industry .
The actual hit man is our hero with a heart (?) who, of course, was unaware of the true identity of the target.
This book has everything - a conspiracy theory, tension , excitement, a love interest, quite a relentless pace, but, a nasty surprise waiting for thriller lovers everywhere.
It waited right until the end to let the hero of the hour crumble under torture and descend into the drooling inmate of a nursing home!
Obviously I am well aware that its not the done thing to reveal the ending of any book, especially in a review, but when the finale is the only critisism that one can find then , what the hell, I just had to tell it like it is.
So Tom Cain, please take note - a hero is supposed to be just that - a hero - someone who can stand up to the baddies , someone who will succeed when all others have failed. Hero’s don’t end up with loss of memory wrapped in a blanket!!!
No, it doesn’t mean that they are human, it means that they are weak and not worthy of the title of ‘hero’ in the first place.
Where would Jack Reacher be if he failed in all his missions and ended up in an institution? Lee Child would be out of a job! Actually, come to think of it,to the avid fan of Childs work, there are definate similarities in the writing of Mr Cain, right?(!)
Still highly recommended though. Apparently this is Tom Cain’s first thriller , and I will be looking out for the next one - maybe i will skip to the last page to see how it ends before it buy it though.
I give it a star rating of *** out of 5.
The actual hit man is our hero with a heart (?) who, of course, was unaware of the true identity of the target.
This book has everything - a conspiracy theory, tension , excitement, a love interest, quite a relentless pace, but, a nasty surprise waiting for thriller lovers everywhere.
It waited right until the end to let the hero of the hour crumble under torture and descend into the drooling inmate of a nursing home!
Obviously I am well aware that its not the done thing to reveal the ending of any book, especially in a review, but when the finale is the only critisism that one can find then , what the hell, I just had to tell it like it is.
So Tom Cain, please take note - a hero is supposed to be just that - a hero - someone who can stand up to the baddies , someone who will succeed when all others have failed. Hero’s don’t end up with loss of memory wrapped in a blanket!!!
No, it doesn’t mean that they are human, it means that they are weak and not worthy of the title of ‘hero’ in the first place.
Where would Jack Reacher be if he failed in all his missions and ended up in an institution? Lee Child would be out of a job! Actually, come to think of it,to the avid fan of Childs work, there are definate similarities in the writing of Mr Cain, right?(!)
Still highly recommended though. Apparently this is Tom Cain’s first thriller , and I will be looking out for the next one - maybe i will skip to the last page to see how it ends before it buy it though.
I give it a star rating of *** out of 5.
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Have you read any good books recently?
Post reviews of books and star rate them out of 5 - just because we cant get published, doesn’t mean we cant slag off all the people who can! ...
Saturday, 18 August 2007
In A Perfect World: Here Could Be The News Headlines
The makers of ‘big brother’ and similar programmes, have admitted that t.v. is indeed being ‘dumbed down’ and that they cant do anything about it because they have neither the money nor expertise to make decent drama any more. When asked about the effect of programmes such as theirs on the teenage population, they declined to comment, but said that they were going to be actively recruiting new staff who are older and have a background in television.
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